I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
