What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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