She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize