dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
