dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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