just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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