It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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