Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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