The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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