I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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