I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
