I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize