Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
