the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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