Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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