Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
