I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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