Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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