dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
