He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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