Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
pop tarts are not kleenex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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