I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
