She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I love having hate sex.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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