they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So here I am, sexting at work.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize