this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
