ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
