I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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