isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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