i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
