mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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