Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I bet he comes in French.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
