best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
