Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
