So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
