it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
