is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
