I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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