mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
