I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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