Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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