ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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