If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
