matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He shit in the fireplace
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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