About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize