ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
