Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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