He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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