my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize