my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
