is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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