I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
