I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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