Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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