Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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