New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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