He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just blew my weed a kiss
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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