Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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