seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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