Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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