it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
