She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
