Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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