Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
