Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
