She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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