oh god the rape fog is back!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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