I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
